Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
