Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
