Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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