just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
