Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
