it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
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