dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
How external is "for external use only"?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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