You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
