dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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