the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
