is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
