It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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