we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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