Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize