i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
