Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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