His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
