You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
