Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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