I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
