Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
