so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
