Small penises have feelings too.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
