Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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