glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
