best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
this is an emotional support booty call
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize