you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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