He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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