Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
