so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
