My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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