worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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