If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
