I'll bet she douches with gravy.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
