the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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