just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
