I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
