P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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