I think my vagina is haunted
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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