dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
