I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
