I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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