if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
