I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
