In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
