She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize