what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
