If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
