my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
