I am in a vortex of obligation.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
