hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Fuck appropriateness.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
