Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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