just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
