they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
