he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well I just put wine in my tea
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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