i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
