I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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