god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
