You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
