My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
